By Aris Barkas/ email@example.com
At the close of 2016, the constant loop of nefarious goings-on around the stolen EuroLeague trophy remains the same. Danger pervades Turkish Airlines EuroLeague courts, and despite five new arrests at year’s end, still no one has landed in the slammer for more than a token appearance there. The typical wishes for a new year are not enough: we have to add that a stop must be made to this crime spree and order must be restored. It will not be easy, however, with these five guys out on the streets.
Keith Langford: Yes, him again. As Unics Kazan continues climbing the underworld ladder, he leads the way with amazing efficiency, always ready for the kill. His latest victim was Panathinaikos Superfoods Αthens, and once again he showed no mercy or remorse. He ended up with 27 points, 5 assists, 4 rebounds and even 1 block, doing everything he could in order to prevail and to get his way, as he usually does.
Luka Doncic: The fact that he still is 17 years old doesn’t mean a thing at this point. This is his third arrest and every time the authorities are soft on him, his audacity grows bigger and bigger. How else can what happened in Istanbul be explained? He devastated Anadolu Efes Istanbul and led Real Madrid to one more triumph with 17 points, 9 assists and 5 rebounds. The scary part is that this life of crime is just beginning for him.
Ognen Kuzmic: This Serb thug made his presence felt in Athens as part of the Panathinaikos gang last season. But his past as a warrior back in the States is what most people remembered before he landed a few months ago with Crvena Zvezda MTS Belgrade. This week, he and his team shocked the intelligence community by ambushing the notorious CSKA Moscow gang. He went berserk with 16 points and 10 rebounds. He simply would not be stopped.
Daniel Theis: This German criminal is not a new name on the list. After one arrest last year, he has refused to change his filthy habits. Once again working for Brose Bamberg this week, he showed no pity for Galatasaray Odeabank in Istanbul. In a typical demonstration for him, he finished with 14 points and 14 rebounds. He also pulverized three of the home gang’s shooters with monster blocks. Of course, the victory returned with him to “Freak City”.
Shane Larkin: The cat burglar of Baskonia Victoria Gasteiz was arrested again. It’s not a surprise considering how he treated Maccabi FOX Tel Aviv. Not only did he score 13 points, but he proved to be the facilitator for the rest of the gang, dishing 13 assists. Add to that 4 rebounds and 2 steals and you got the whole picture of an almost perfect crime, which is exactly what we would call it had he not made 1 turnover.